How-to Become a FALLower

Since I made the deal to reveal a dirty-sad-lovey story for every new FALLower, many of you have told me you are following the blog but are not showing up as a FALLower. I deleted the Subscribe To gadgets, because they were the trouble makers. If you have a Google, Twitter, Yahoo, AIM, Netlog, or OpenID account, you do not have to set up a Google+ account to become a FALLower.

Steps to become a FALLower:

1) On the right side bar, you will see a gadget titled FALLowers. Click the Join This Site button to subscribe.

2) After you click the Join This Site button, a new window will open asking you to sign in with an account you have already created. If you do not have an account with one of the options listed, you will need to create one to subscribe to the blog.

 

 

3) Once you have chosen, a new window will open asking you to sign in to the account. It should automatically direct you back to Blogger and finalize your subscriber status.

 

Note: You do not have to be a subscriber to comment. If you have a questions, please leave a comment below. 

 

I hope this clears up any confusion. Thank you all for subscribing!





The One That Got Away

It's 4:00 am, and I cannot sleep. Drooping eyes and an exhausted body have been battling against my never ending thoughts for the last three hours. They say if you leave your bed and write out what's on your mind, you should clear enough junk out to fall in to a peaceful slumber. Sadly, the story I'm about to tell you will possible find me in my dreams tonight, maybe a day dream tomorrow, and probably every day of this lonely forever.

My "one that got away" story starts on an old, squeaky, yellow, school bus during my sophomore year of high school. I was 15, and our two intermediate school show choirs were traveling home from a competition. "We are the champions" blasted through an old black boom box and rattled the rickety rolled-down windows. We screamed the lyrics at the top of our lungs, because we were bringing home another win for our school. Our teacher and choreographer sat proudly in the front two rows, letting the students in the seats behind have a little too much fun celebrating. Field trips, especially those within the arts programs, are synonymous for shameful behavior. A group of us sitting in the back of the bus decided to start up a game of Truth or Dare. Trouble always comes from the back of the bus. It where the cool kids sit, of course! ;-) 

I forgot to mention, we had a new guy in choir that year. Mr. C, we'll call him. Mr. C was an instant hit among the choir students, and not just because we were always so desperate for bass singers! He had a sweet smile and soft eyes; the kind that say everything without saying anything at all. My mom calls them "bedroom eyes." Of course he had a mystery about him, being the new guy and all. But there was something in his eyes you knew had stories to tell. He just had a way about him, something that clued you to think he could be a good listener and a giver of excellent advice.

Back to Truth or Dare. Yes, a bit childish for 14 and 15 year olds, but you can only play so many rounds of Never Have I Ever before some horny teenage boy wants to put some allegations to the test. Anyways, it was known among my fellow choir members I had never been kissed. What do you know? A little dumbass thought it would be hilarious to dare me to kiss the new guy. I was mortified, but I never turned down a dare. 

I slid across the aisle into the empty space on ripped, brown, vinyl seats. Mr.C grabbed a blanket and threw it over our heads, so we could have some privacy. He knew I had never been kissed, so we created a plan to pretend to be making out under the blanket by swaying our heads back and forth and close together. (I must note I am incredibly embarrassed about this. How immature could I be?) I will never forget our laughter behind ear-to-ear grins. We stayed under the blanket long enough to draw out a few OOS and AWWS from our friends. Of course, they knew we were faking it.

At this point in time, I was starting in on my second year of being hopelessly in love with the boy I mentioned in my last article. But, after that trip, I started to notice Mr. C more. I primped a little more and giggled a little louder when I knew he was in the room. It was a silly school girl crush, but I was drawn to him for the kindness he showed me. He could have just grabbed me and kiss me; but he was respectful, and he surprised me.

The BIG moment happened at the show choir end-of-the-year party. My neighbor, Brandon, had everyone over for an evening of choir-nerd craziness. My affections for Mr. C had never faltered throughout the school year. Of course, I never said anything to anyone. Everyone new my dirty laundry when it came to the boy, so I decided to keep my feelings for Mr.C a secret. 

Our friends were playing games in the backyard, and we managed to break away from the group alone. At some point in the time we had been going to school together, he had told me he used to box. You know I had to play the girl card and ask, (in a high-pitched, flirty voice) "Will you teach me how to box?" For a girl, this is absolutely genius, because a guy will never tell you "no" when you ask him to show off or teach you something he is confidently skilled at. I tried to hide my ridiculous smile and rosy-red cheeks while he molded my hands to form the perfect punching fists. He taught me how to stand, where to hold my hands, and the obvious, how to punch. We were having so much fun; we didn't even notice everyone had returned inside the house. This was not by accident. You see, Brandon, knowing me better than I know myself sometimes, caught wind of my affections and concocted a plan to move everyone inside to give us alone time. I found out later that they all watched us from the windows. The cat was out of the bag. Meanwhile, outside, our boxing lesson had ended and the conversation took an interesting turn.

"Can I ask you something?" I said, nervously.
"Sure." He smiled.
"Do you like me?"
"Well, that was a blunt question."
Embarrassed by his retort, I giggled. "Yeah, I guess it is."
"Do you like me?" His question caught me off guard. Although he had a wicked grin on his face, I struggled to answer the truth. Fear of rejection got the best of me.
"No." Stupid girl.

He obviously liked me, otherwise he would have just said "no" instead of turning the question back on me. I always questioned whether he did, because of the way he always smiled at me or how I would catch him listening a little too closely when I told stories and jokes. I should have known better.

"Do you?" I repeated the question.
"No." Rejection found me, even though I knew I shouldn't feel sad, because I just told him I didn't like him. I was definitely not going to tell him the truth after he answered "no."

He was a grade behind me, so when I went on to the senior high my junior year, we didn't see each other until I attended the show choir's Christmas Concert the next December. After their performance, I approached his welcoming smile to tell him about his great performance. 

Timing is everything. At the beginning of junior year, the boy, managed to control his wandering eye and gave his undivided attention to me. I was thrilled to finally receive his affections, but over the course of the fall semester, the boy's attention started to falter. You see, the boy didn't want to be with me, but didn't want me to be with anyone else either. He quickly noticed my reaction to seeing Mr. C at the Christmas Concert and noted the time we spent together over the next month.

Mr. C was such a good friend to me. We would talk on the phone for hours, and he would listen to me complain about what the boy had done this week. Mr. C was the perfect gentleman, telling me to stay away from the boy and how he would stand up for me if I was ever hurt. He even encouraged me to continue my dream to be a singer, even though I had let that dream die some time before. I was so blind, wrapped up in the shenanigans of the boy, while missing out on the perfect guy. My feelings grew for Mr. C, and I smartened up, ready to get rid of the boy for good. But by the time I did, it was too late.

"Hey Ashton. I need to talk to you." Sadness weaved through the words from his receiver to mine.
"Hey! Is everything alright?"
"I have bad news." I couldn't stand to hear him unhappy.
"Okay, what's up?"
"I'm moving."
"Moving! When?"
"In a few weeks." 

Of course this would happen, right? I finally met the right guy for me, and I had wasted too much time due to one little lie. I decided to tell him the truth about my feelings. What did I have to lose?

"So...I have something I need to tell you." It was one of those moments where you press your face into the closest pillow to muffle the shriek of your fowardness.
"Okay..."
"Remember that night in Brandon's backyard when you were teaching me to box?"
"Yeah..."
"I lied to you, when you asked me if I liked you." 
".....(dramatic pause).....I lied too."
     
The day he left, I left school in a rush to get to his house. Guess who thought he needed to go too? The boy. So, I didn't get the bittersweet sendoff, because it was awkward to hug the guy I had fallen for, while the boy who haunted me lingered by my car. Tears fell and without Mr. C, I fell back into the vicious lonely circle with the boy.

And the story twists again...

Two years later, Mr. C. called me while I was away at college to let me know he was coming to Oklahoma over Christmas Break. Boldness escaped before I could filter my words. I asked him to take me out on a date for my birthday! He agreed, and I thought we might finally get our shot. The week before we were to see each other again, he called to tell me he had a girlfriend. Needless to say, I was bummed. I was still very excited to see him again, even if we were only meant to be friends. I'll never forget how good he looked. They always look too good, when you know you can't have them.

I think I was 20 the last time we spoke. He told me he was getting married. Talk about a final nail in the ol' coffin. Shortly after, I saw he joined the military, but it wasn't long before he deleted his Facebook account. Too much time had passed, and I assumed the phone numbers were outdated. I even Googled him once, but came up with nothing.  

It been almost 10 years since that silly dare. If I could go back, I would jump in his seat, push the blanket away, grab his face, and lay a big one on him in front of everyone! I guess I'll leave that re-write for my daydreams.

The Strip Dance

Thank you Shannon for being the first to release a dirty-sad-lovey memory from my past by becoming a follower! For every new follower, I'll reveal a new one.

 

This story is a little dirty and kind of sad. Don't worry, there are more very embarrassing stories ahead, but I have to ease my way in.

 

(pic: Prom 2006- please ignore my too light foundation color!)

When I was in high school, my best friend Ben and I would have dance parties in his living room. He had this hallway that lead to his parents bedroom and bathroom but was closed off from the living room by two venetian doors. We would turn on "Dirty" by Christina Aguilera on the living room sound system and wait in the hall like backup dancers, flipping the hall light on and off (for effects) and jiggling the doors open and close during the intro of the song.  Here, have a listen while reading...

 

 

So, the music is blasting and right after Redman says, "You ain't here to party!", we would bust through the doors and you would have thought we were on stage at the 2005 Video Music Awards. Leaping off of couches, chairs, and the fireplace, we were an explosion of ridiculousness. Ben's house also had a staircase to the right of the front door that traveled up to meet a catwalk/balcony for the home's second level. You know we didn't waste such a good space. Lots of crawling and banister grinding to Christina's beats. Only with Ben could I escape to an imaginary dance world. And yes, we tortured our friends to live performances, multiple times.

 

(pic: Josh Gracin Concert- Summer 2006) 

During my junior year, Ben and I concocted a plan to help me win over the heart of the boy, who single-handedly ruined me for every other guy who came into my life years after he became a memory (that's a story for another day). Seduction was the key. A strip dance was the plan, and Ben had all the right moves. We spent hours perfecting the naughtiest little dance, which I'm pretty sure was to be the precursor to me losing my virginity. I mean, once you're in it, you better be ready to win it. 



I hate to tell you the story ends here. Blame it on the boy's predictability to be a douche bag, but he never got the dance, because he didn't deserve it. On the bright side, Ben and I had etched another fun and crazy moment into our past together. He has this beautiful spirit that lights a fire in anyone within his presence. I <3 you Ben!

Here is the song we choreographed the dance to. You might remember it from the soundtrack to City of Angels. Perfect strip dance song, right? Pretty easy to say the boy missed out.

  

 

 

   

 

I'll Tell You My Dirty Little Secret...

I'd like to proposition you.

For every new follower of Falling in Fall, I will expose a dirty secret, a sad sob story, or a lovey-dovey memory of my life. I promise to be completely honest and forthcoming in my stories, holding nothing back. It's sure to invoke a few blushes =0 

So, do we have a deal?

Dirty Dozen, Part II

UPDATE: I have adjusted the settings so anyone can comment. Feel free to speak your mind!

And the dirty dozen continues... To read more about the authors and what they are currently working on, check out the author's websites and blogs. The links to their sites are just above the book pics.  

(Click the pictures to purchase from Amazon)

7-8. Slammed and Point of Retreat
http://colleenhoover.com/

   Light on the dirty, heavy on the love angst and sexual tension. I crushed on this story from page one. Layken Cohen grudgingly moves with her mother and little brother from Texas to Michigan after the sudden death of her father. On move-in day, she meets her neighbor, Will Cooper, and his little brother, Kel. Will is a dress-shirt-and-a-tie hottie, who is older, more mature, and quick on his game asking Layken on a date. (I love a good romance that doesn't make you wait until the tenth chapter for a first date! Mmm...hmm.) The two connect immediately, but within the week they find themselves in a very "rule-breaking" situation. I want to tell you...oh so bad...what the twist is, but I can't. I want to tell you; because it is the reason I am so attracted to this story. Maybe I'll tell you some day ;-) The story has a wonderful combination of love, friendship, family, feel-good moments, but also sinks into the character's heartbreak and sadness.      

As soon as I swiped my finger to the last page of Slammed on the Kindle App, I immediately downloaded the second book, Point of Retreat. The best part about this series is Slammed is from Layken's POV, while Point of Retreat is from Will's. It was a bit of transition in the first chapter, reading from Will perspective, but I grew to love it so much more. While reading Slammed, you're constantly wondering what Will is thinking, and now you know. It is the perfect sequel, and you will love every syllable of it.    

And now for some really good news...Colleen is currently working on This Girl, the next book in the series. This book is written from Will's POV but plays out in the past and future, switching so you can read what he thought during scenes in Slammed, while seeing glimpses into the couple's future. Can't freaking wait!!!   


9-10. Thoughtless and Effortless
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4372391.S_C_Stephens
Click here to purchase Thoughtless



BEWARE: If you're not into reading about infidelity. This book is not for you. BUT...if you're like me, and you want to read how a good girl plays dirty with her perfect Australian boyfriend while screwing the smoldering, melts in your mouth and in your hand, rock star, best friend and roommate (I just got chills thinking about his fictitious body...ridiculous.), then click the link above and drool over the damn thing. I will say, the book seems to be slow in a few places, but when it's good, it's OH YES, YES (think Herbal Essences) good.

Effortless. Also a great sequel. Deals a lot with jealousy and trust issues. Takes me back to my pre-teen days of dreaming about Justin Timberlake, while he was touring with N'Sync. Come on, I know I wasn't the only one. Well, for my sister, it was New Kids on the Block. Whichever celebrity singer made you feel like a woman before you were old enough to have your period...you know what I mean =0...think of them, and you're sure to enjoy this one.      

Oh yes. There is more to come. Reckless is expected to be release March 2013. Yummy Yummy.

  

11. Love Unscripted

 http://tinareber.com/



Like The Thoughtless Series, Love Unscripted fulfills your every celebrity fantasy. Just replace the iconic singer with a heartthrob actor, and you're all set to go.

Ryan Christensen (Just sounds like a delicious movie star, right?) is shooting the second installment of a book-to-film series in Seaport, Rhode Island. An overnight sensation, Ryan still has not adjusted to the life of paparazzi and hordes of screaming girls. Taryn Mitchell is Seaside's smart and savvy pub owner. Taking over the family business after the passing of her father, Taryn works, lives, and breathes her pub. At the beginning of the story, Taryn doesn't even know who Ryan Christensen is. She's never seen his movies or read the books that have launched his on-screen celebrity status. Without her magazine-junkie best friend to keep her up-to-date on Hollywood gossip, Taryn wouldn't have recognized the man that ran into her bar in the early morning hours to seek an escape route from the crowd of obsessed fans. Taryn treats Ryan to a beer and moment to breathe. Once Ryan realizes Taryn has nothing in common with his stalker fans, he finds comfort with her, and their relationship blooms in a daydream-worthy romance that lingers in your thoughts after the last page. 

But, in four days (September 14, 2012) you can re-light your Ryan Christensen desire with the sequel, Love Unrehearsed. Luckily, I just finished Love Unscripted about three weeks ago. So, I didn't have to wait long too long. Thank goodness.

12. Hearts in Darkness

 http://www.laurakayeauthor.com/hearts.html

 If you're looking for an afternoon read, something to do while you are waiting in the doctor's office for two hours, this is my suggestion for you. This novella only took me about three hours to read, and I am slow reader. The only downfall to this fantasy is it doesn't last long enough!

Juggling multiple bags, a computer, and her cell phone, Makenna James stumbles in to her office building's elevator after a long and busy day at work. She catches a glimpse of a decorated hand with a dragon tattoo graciously hold the closing doors open for her before she lets her red hair fall around her, concealing her face to her elevator gentleman. Caden Grayson has more than just a dragon tattoo on his hand. His body is designed in multiple tattoos, piercings, and a scar which can be seen easily by his shaved head. A stranger might feel intimidated by Caden's appearance, but his insecurities and his claustrophobia, which he keeps hidden, portray the opposite. When the elevator comes to an abrupt stop, due to a power outage, the darkness creates an interesting situation for the two characters. Neither saw the other's appearance before the lights went out, which pulls the two characters into a relationship without judgment of appearance. After Makenna calms Caden's anxiety of small spaces, the two open up to each other and find a little, quiet, dark space is just enough to let go of many inhibitions ;-) ;-). Of course, the lights come back on when the characters are in a compromising position, but you'll just have to read to find out what happens.           

I am already working on another dirty dozen for you, finishing number three last night. I will share those with you within the next month or two. I can't wait to tell you all about them!

Filled with dirty thoughts and ideas to corrupt you some more,

Ashton